Have you ever wanted to wish someone happy birthday, apologize for a horrid transgression, or pop a question in a totally unique and memorable way? Of course you have. There’s just one problem. Greeting cards are boring and unoriginal. Know what else they are? Easily forgotten. Bad Art Greetings are just the opposite. They leave a lasting mark. And not necessarily in a bad way.
Instead of mailing off another lame greeting card with someone else’s stupid sentiments written on it, why not put your own words onto a one-of-a-kind piece of crappy art that your recipient can hang on their wall forever?
That’s what Bad Art Greetings are all about: an alternative greeting card guaranteed to be the most original thing your loved ones (or hated ones, or tolerated ones) have ever received.
WHY BAD ART GREETINGS?
You’re probably sitting there wondering why anyone would want to hang a piece of junk art on their wall. That’s a great question. There are actually quite a few reasons, smarty-pants. First, this is art. That’s what you do with art. You hang it on the wall. Second, the high quality paints and canvas we use might actually trick your recipient into thinking it’s good art, and they’ll be too embarrassed to admit it if they don’t like it. Third, they might think you painted it yourself and won’t dare throw it away for fear of hurting your feelbads. Fourth, they just might find it as awesome and funny as you do – and they’ll want to show that crap off to everyone they know! Either way, it totally beats flowers and a card. Besides, flowers die. Art lasts forever. Even bad art. Especially personalized bad art.
THE 411 ON BAD ART GREETINGS
- All Bad Art Greetings are Pandemonium Art Gallery exclusives. You won’t find this garbage anywhere else!
- All paintings are unique originals, painted by Pandemonium Art Gallery owner and artist extraordinaire, Jane Font. These aren’t replicas or prints, folks. They’re the real deal.
- Greetings are painted on 5×7 inch canvas boards using quality Liquitex acrylic paints that’ll last for ages.
- You provide the message, and we’ll ship your Bad Art original straight to you, or direct to your recipient. Your choice! You can also mosey on into Pandemonium Art Gallery and pick one up yourself if you’re lucky enough to live nearby.
- All Bad Art Greetings are completed and shipped out within 3 business days.
- Pop it in a frame or nail that sucker to the wall, and it’s ready for the world to see!
HOW DO YOU ORDER A BAD ART GREETING?
Now you’re talkin’. To get started, decide what you want your Bad Art Greeting to say, in 140 characters or less. Then click HERE and pick from one of the 3 options below:
Option #1 (The $9.99 BAGsy Expresso): We’ll pick a design that best fits the sentiment of your message, scrawl your words across the front in visible ink, and mail it off to your desired destination.
Option #2 (The $14.99 Personal Touch): You pick the colors and/or request a simple doodle. Jane’s drawing skills are less than par, but hey, it’s not called Bad Art Greetings for no reason, am I right?!
Option #3 (The $19.99 Super Special Awesome Option): Email us a photo of what you want recreated. Jane will put it on canvas with her devastatingly bad (but oddly remarkable) skills.
*All Bad Art Greetings come with a certificate of authenticity. We’ll even throw in free shipping within the U.S. to show you what complete and total sweethearts we are.
That’s all there is to it! We provide the art – you provide the words. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy!
Wanna congratulate someone on a major accomplishment? We got it. Wreck your best friend’s car? Don’t sweat it, bro. Wish you could punch someone in the face but don’t want to suffer the repercussions of a lawsuit? Violence is no answer. Art, on the other hand, solves everything. No occasion is too trivial, and there’s no sentiment you can’t express – as long it’s not a threat, hateful, or breaks a restraining order. Let’s play nice, folks!
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
At the risk of being repetitive, let’s cover this one more time. You may NOT use this service to threaten, constitute harassment, violate a legal restraint, or perpetrate any other unlawful act. You agree that this is a novelty service for entertainment purposes only, and that is your only intention. Bad Art Greetings’ liability to you is limited to the price tag of the product. By ordering our product, you agree to release Bad Art Greetings (including its agents, officers, and employees) of any and all liability associated with the use of our services. You must be at least 18 years of age to purchase and the recipient must also be 18 or over. You may not send a Bad Art Greetings to any person or organization you do not personally know. This includes famous animals and people, politicians and companies. We review all messages you submit, and any content we determine to be inappropriate will be omitted. This includes threats and harassment. All content on the site is for artistic purposes only. Please do not use our service for any other reason than as a novelty gift. If you’re not 100 percent sure your recipient will understand the novelty of the item, you’re probably better off not sending it.